Spilling the Peas

Written June 30, 2009 {Myspace}

Spilling the peas.

So I feel I have the need to spill out some of my guts right now. My life is taking a pretty retarded and difficult turn and I kinda like it. My madre and her partner just broke up [[sorry to post this to everyone btw]], and its difficult taking it. I mean I'm glad to see my mom's happiness shining through but I also know the hard times to come. Yesterday Becca came over to take care of me because well the break up was going down and I wasn't feeling too well, but better than that morning. After my mom got back and she seen my mom throw a phone around the house, we kinda hung out together and it was amazing. No one I have ever been with can chill with my mom and me and have fun. Seriously?? This girl is the shit. For sure. So she had to go home but on the way I sang to the radio and yea I noticed her trying o get closer so she could hear me better.....smooth Becca...very smooth. Anyways, Becca says a lot that she feels like were in a movie or in this dream. You have no clue how good that makes me feel. HELLO! Movies and dreams are everything you love and want them to be. That means I'm doing everything right. I AM! ME! &Whenever I'm with someone I really like I try to be as sweet as possible and do anything to impress them. With Becca I don't worry about it. She likes me so much for who I am. I can sing horribly to a song, dance like I've never heard of the word before, make a complete fool of myself, be a bitch, be a smart ass, be me. &She still thinks I'm adorable.

So the first time Becca and me met. I yelled at my best friend. I was an idiot. I was serious, I was no goofball, I was not pretty. But she wanted to kiss me...ME! And wow are her kisses amazing. I mean she has these indescribable beautiful soft lips that I crave after every kiss. &Weirdly, she doesn't make me nervous in the since of butterflies and twisting stomachs. I love it. It might sound bad but I've had that with everyone I've been with...does it look like I'm with any of them?? No. The feeling got old. But with Becca its like turned around. The more we kiss the more powerful that feeling inside of me gets. Everytime I see her, its like our kisses and our connection is stronger. Sorry if im not doing too well describing all this but she really hard to fit words to. She nothing I've ever seen.

I'm completely into butchy girls. Becca is not butchy. She's not a label. She's not just some beautiful girl I made an exception to. She's none of that. She's just Becca. I can't explain it, you have to meet her. She's different. I couldn't relate her to anything or anyone. She hates tea and coffee. She loves mountain dew. She wears fuzzy socks. She's obsessed with one pair of shoes. She's a huge smart ass. She's the sweetest person I've ever met. She hates my favorite movie. She loves my favorite show. She's unpredictable. She's beautiful. She has the best memory. She's funny. She's energetic. She's athletic. She likes being outside. She loves music. She loves movies. She has many many stuffed animals. She likes knifes. She would do anything for me. She's already done so much for me.

I have no clue why I'm listening things about her but I never know why I do the things I do with her. She makes me feel so comfortable in my own skin. Ive told her so much about my past and I don't just spill those peas this early. I've told her things that no one else knows. She still likes me.
Yea I know, this girl is amazing huh?

We talk on the phone for hours.
We talk on the phone and IM each other on myspace.
She sings to me on the phone.
We text each other while on the phone.
I cry on the phone.
She gets angry on the phone. [[its fucking cute as hell!]]
She makes fun of the way I say monster and taco bell.
She's my lioness.
She likes when I sing in front of her.
She likes when I dance with her.
She rides her bike to see me.
She brought me taco bell one time.
She surprises me.
I never get surprised.
She understands me.
She comforts me.
She holds me.
Kisses me.
Hugs me.
Scratches my back.
I LOVE that.
She scratches my scalp.
THAT DRIVES ME CRAZY.
She runs her nails up and down my arms.
wow.
She gets along with my friends.
All my friends love her.
The rest want to meet her.
They'll love her too.
She draws.
She's amazing it at it. &I mean she is REALLY great at it.
She thinks playing the violin is hot.
I play the violin.
Her skin is as soft as butter.
She's the biggest cheese ball I have ever met.
She's always missing me.
I'm always missing her.
I'm fucking hot.
She knows that.
I like it.
Lol.
She laughs at everything.
I love hearing her laugh.
I make her laugh.
She makes me feel wanted.
She makes me happy.
She makes me feel special beyond belief.
She doesn't freak when I talk about ex's.
I don't freak when she talks about her's.
We talk about everything.
We don't get jealous.
We don't care about our pasts.
Were each others present.
We hope to be each others future.
I love her mom.
She's not the sweetest thing.
But she's nice to me and her reactions are funny.
&She seems like so much fun.
Becca writes poems.
Good poems.
I love reading them.
We have great minds.
Great minds think a like.
I can't think of anything else now.
I have to pack.
I'm moving.
To Europe.
I wish.